Tuesday, 15 May 2012

How young lives are scarred

Driving home from House Calls yesterday evening (Tony is still finishing a sentence he started last time I visited, and Adam is worried about Ian spending so much time with sous chef Gay Gordon) I was distressed to see a lady weaving her way along the country lanes on her rickety bicycle. Through her hiccoughs she was mumbling: "Kenton! KENTON! No more. What would the llamas say?" and was generally unsteady of speech and co-ordination.

I pulled over and suggested walking her and her bicycle home. She agreed and as we walked she said: "I do hope the Duchess of Cornwall doesn't drive by. I'd hate her to see me like this."

We agreed that this was an unlikely scenario but the lady did share a confidence, which I'm pleased to break here. She said how the reminder of her unhappy days in the school changing rooms, when teasing children had hidden her games kit in the shower, had left such a lasting impression upon her. It had made her shy away from sport altogether, something which put a lie to Robert's description of her as "a game old bird". He was referring to something else entirely, she insisted.

This led to a conversation about how other villagers have been scarred by events in their past. Jamie, for example, has never been the same since he caught his father shouting "FIRE YOURSELF UP: I'M READY FOR TAKE OFF" at Jolene in the shower. Jamie has been trying to fire things up ever since, but not in the way Sid had in mind.

Shula well remembers David playing with an Action Man as a child. He had always been angry with Elizabeth who had stolen its parachute to make a dress for a doll. David had continued to play with the Soldier figure jumping unaided from great heights well into his teens.

Susan insists that Neil should slop out for both of them every evening as she calls "lights out" and will not go anywhere near a communal shower.

Daniel spent far too much time with his Uncle Nigel's chum Tim Beacham whose unrivalled collection of Judy Garland albums had quite an impact on the young man.

Jennifer cooked Debbie far too much goulash.

And there is already much concern for the future of Tilly Button who not only crossed ribbons in the May Pole debacle, but also managed to fashion one into a perfect noose.

No doubt there will be other examples of childhood events which still haunt villagers' lives. If you're aware of them, please list them below or direct to @TonysConsultant.

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