Thursday, 19 September 2013

Lynda has plans

Now that The Great Raymondo has finally been rumbled and scuttled off with his moustache between his legs, there is little time for Lynda to make her mark on Grey Gables before Oliver's Barmy and Caroline-on-the-Bone return from holiday. Hopefully Caroline will have been on the piazza long enough to be oblivious to what might await her. Oliver will be too embarrassed to mention anything as the whole sorry affair was down to his disastrous idea for relief cover.

Lynda's first mission is to rescue Mexican Night. Her inspired plan to cast Freda Fry as her namesake in her own dramatisation of The Diary of Frida Kahlo bodes well, although it brings back memories of her disastrous production of The Diary of Anne Frank all those years ago in Sunningdale. ("She's in the attic!" shouted the audience half way through act one on the best-forgotten first night.)

This also enables Lynda to replace Ray's misguided 'Best Moustache' competition with the more high brow (literally) 'Best Frida Kahlo Eye Brow' competition. Those who have already invested in false moustaches will be relieved as they will be able to double for this purpose. Apparently Kathy has already planned not to shave especially for the occasion.

Mexican Waves have been earmarked for the swimming pool and for Ian's hair. As a treat Peggy will be wearing her Pomegranate Syrup, its first official outing since Fag-Ash Lil brought it back from her travels.

As a tribute to Mexico's position as second only to China in the production of horsemeat, Ian has bought in a bulk supply of Tesco Lasagne for the event.

Lynda has been very happy to be nicknamed Lascurain (after Pedro Lascurain, President of Mexico exactly one hundred years ago). She'll be very happy until she realises that dear Pedro was only President for 26 minutes.

She has also somehow managed to persuade the long-suffering Robert to dress as Manuel from Fawlty Towers, in honour of the hurricane of that name that is heading for Mexico at this very minute.