Thursday, 12 July 2012

Ambridge Less

With the return of Ambridge Extra bringing us all those exciting "added bits" that we have all been simply dying to be acquainted with, it must also be time for a session or two of Ambridge Less. This is where we hear all the bits and pieces that are too trivial to make it into the regular wireless transmission from Ambridge. Yes, as regular listeners, you may be surprised to learn that there are things even less interesting than that which you hear on a regular basis. So, while Brookfield burns, elsewhere.....

Tom has a verruca
Nothing much has been heard from Tom recently. This is because Brenda has confined the Polytunnel King to isolation since the discovery of a rather nasty verruca. On a testicle.

Kathy has nothing to moan about
Kathy is happy. Up at the Golf Club she has discovered that life can be good, and that even when you are in a bunker the green is only one shot away. Her new found chirpiness is just too much for most people to handle.

Tony sits in his chair
Tony sits in his chair all day long. He has soup delivered by Pat on the hour, every hour. He says he feels fine. "Super" in fact.

Matt has a small one
In The Bull, Matt confounded everyone by ordering a single scotch. Lilian mocks the fact that he has a small one.

Jill bakes a cake
Although of course this really means that Jill bakes seven cakes. Always have six spare.

Jazzer has a night in
Jazzer has a quiet night in with a book, a cup of cocoa and his Graham Norton hot water bottle.

Gay Gordon's Yorkshires Drop
Ian's sous chef at Grey Gables has had a disaster.

Ruairi staples Brian's tassels
Impish Ruairi staples Brian's tassels together - Jennifer is very amused.

Chris soils his apron
It's not what you think. He spills casserole.

Henry crawled
Don't worry if you missed this. Helen sold the rights to Turkey Baster Weekly.

These are just the top ten of the dullest moments in Ambridge that didn't make it into the transmission of the documentary. Please list below any other examples you are aware of, or send them direct to @TonysConsultant.

1 comment:

  1. NotTillyButton13 July 2012 at 10:21

    Ian's souffle failed to rise.

    This has never happened to him before.
    It doesn't matter.
    He must be tired.
    It happens to everyone.
    We can just cuddle instead...