Tuesday, 17 July 2012

Ambridge Even Less

In the aftermath of The Fire here are ten more bits of trivial news that would otherwise go unnoticed:

To everyone's relief, the "Welcome Home Phoebe" banner which Josh had prepared was destroyed in the fire. David's offer to help Roy to hang it at Lower Loxley had sent Roy into hiding.

Mickey Mouse wears a Brian Aldridge watch.

Josh and Gina are now an item, and have applied for joint custody of the calf.

Alan Franks' curry was such a success that he is opening Ambridge's first curry house. It is to be called Frankly My Dear (I don't give a Naan). Alan was briefly taken into custody by the 2012 Brand Police for his use of the slogan: This will test your Olympic Ring.

John Terry wears a Roy Tucker shirt.

Once again Jolene has scuppered Kenton's plans to spend an extended time down under.

Rio 2016's Olympic Organising Committee have invited Lynda to join their number. The Brazilians are naturally impressed with her anti-litter activities and her bush trimming campaign and her expenses will be covered by an over-60s phone-in on Raunchy Radio Rio.

Jill came to Elona's rescue in the great damp bread disaster, providing her with one of the six spare loaves she had baked, just in case. The moral of this story is: don't leave recently baked produce out in the rain.

One of the Ambridge in Bloom hanging baskets fell on Adam's head. It has reversed previous damage, and Adam thinks he could identify his assailants from a line-up. The police have obliged, and Adam will select between Keith Richards, Keith Horrobin, Keith Chegwin, Keith Joseph, Keith Harris, Orvill and a Badger.

Eddie has been banned from selling his hybrid Borsetshire Beast ornaments. 2012 lawyers say they are too reminiscent of Fatima Whitbread.

Please add any other scintillating but otherwise unnoticed facts below or report them directly to @TonysConsultant.

No comments:

Post a Comment