Friday, 11 January 2013

Ambridge Thank You letters hit the doormat

[Thought for the day: Has Ambridge ever had a Postman?]

As the Festivities become a distant memory, the good folk of Ambridge - good mannered bunch as they are - have finally got round to writing their Thank You letters. Here is a selection:

"Dearest Tiger
Thank you soooo much for the beauuuuutiful dress you bought me for Christmas. You have no idea what thoughts go through my mind every time I look at it, every time I put it on and - especially - every time I take it off.
No idea at all.
All my love,
Pusscat xxx"

"Dearest Pusscat
 Thanks my love. Can't remember what you gave me but I'm sure it was smashing. Lunch in The Bull?
Your loving and attentive Tiger.
Grrrrrrrrr xxx"

An Open Letter to The Echo (Echo)
"Dear Sir
I crave your indulgence to use your organ to try to communicate with whomsoever bought me my Secret Santa gift.
 A voucher for "A New Year's Knight on the Tiles" at Grey Gables is neither big nor clever. Unless it's from Iffy, of course, in which case I accept with gratitude.
Yours in despair,
The not-so-merry Widow, Lower Loxley"

"My dear Henry
I realise it will be many years before you can read this letter, but we will save it in your Memory Box for the future.
I want to thank you for being a wonderful - if surprisingly quiet - son. And I want to share with you this latest photograph of your father:
Your ever loving, if ever-so-slightly irritating,
Mother (let's be trendy - call me Helen) xxxx"

"By email:
Subject:        Your Christmas Gift
Son - we need to talk.
Your mother and I have tried very hard to indulge your interests. You must appreciate that the very fact that your mother drives you to Birmingham every week for your tap lessons is a sacrifice. I am also not sure how long we can carry on expecting Grandpa Jim to believe that these are part of a grand plan for you to go into plumbing. 
But you must not expect everyone else in the family to share your interests. Judy Garland's Greatest Hits is, I am sure, a wonderful piece of work, but Uncle David is not amused by it. Fiddler on the Roof may seem an amusing gift for Auntie Elizabeth, but at the last count she has yet to see the funny side.
Man up, Boy!"

No doubt there are other Thank You letters in the ether. Please post them here, or send them direct to @TonysConsultant.

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